assalamualaikum..
today..the day is just as normal as everyday..maybe there was some rain but the look is just as same as everyday..
what make today's different from other days?? confused!! that is what i feel today..im not a great person.. and we have so much differences than people can see..there's nothing fit us together..but still there is this feeling of wanna stay, wanna be, wanna cry, wanna smile, wanna lough, wanna do every single thing with him..thinking of him everyday, smile when suddenly saw him somewhere..this making my heart beating so fast..until i can even feel the pain on my chest..
even i know it is not fair..for me n for him..but still why!! why in the name of the earth i still think of that man..that "lovely perfect match prince charming Mr. nice guy"..i shouldn't think of him..but the more i neglect it the more it come..!! the hell is that??!!!
im angry of myself but at the same time im happy..that's weird..it may look like some freaking idiot weirdo bitch, but what can i do?? how the hell should i ignore this weird feeling..i should but then the shouldn't come..i would but then the wouldn't come..and now where should i go??
happy on the face doesn't count in the heart..
cry as much as we can..express those idiot feeling, angry, ashamed, nervous, stupid..because we learn from experience..and experience itself make us who we r today..
judge no one..there's a long journey to go..a very long way, still so damn low below the earth..if u wanna touch the stars touch ur heart first, believe in urself than make a good way so that u won't be lost..
written by,
esterxanserveir
assalamualaikum,
bukan skali korg wat kat aku..daa banyak kali kot..!! ikhlas ke x korg ngan aku hah!! kadang2 aku rasa mcm korg just nak guna aku bila korg perlu ja..
kalu nmpak aku tulis kat blog nie konfom kata aku cam budak2 laa..x matured laa..abis korg 2 bagus laaa sngt..!! wat pe nak letak aku dlm group 2?? wat header picture xde pon gamba aku..mau x touching!! masa perlu tuuuuuuuu diaaaaaa mai kat aku mcm harammm..blah laa..!!
sama ja..ngan ada plak geng dlm 2 yg jenis lepas tngan jaa..aku meluat gilaa..depan org kata dia sibok laa bnyak krja laa..weyhh org nmpak laa apa hang buat!! menyampah gilaaa... kata kat org no 1!! aku pon memang x sempurna tp ko patutnya tolong aku masa 2..tp mana ko g??? aku ngan kawan aku nie punya laa tunggang terbalik dok siapkn sume..ko wat ap?? ko just ckp jaa..!! sama laaa ko ngan musuh ko 2..!!
nak bekerja kena laa profesional sikit..nie x, masalah dlm sluar pon nak wak masuk skali..amendaa..!!
ahhh..nmpak sngt ko penakot..!!
if u think that u'r d best..then prove it..dont just pretend like stupid bastard who dont know how to live..
i'm pissed not bcoz u'r stupid but it bcoz u'r n idiot bastard that not professional enough to handle things..!!
start to change or u'll trap inside it forever..=.="
written by,
esterxanserveir
assalamualaikum..
today..just now i went to batu feringgi..a very calm beach..so nice
nothing much to say but i really have a good time..thank you to my friends..
take a view =P
that's all from me..
have a good time =)
written by,
esterxanserveir
assalamualaikum..
so as u see..i'v decided to announce that this is the wonderful week ever...!!HAH~~
remember the "perfect match prince charming Mr.nice guy" that i'v told u b4?? the birthday boy that i'v mentioned..?? YES HIM!! i finally got my courage to say "happy birthday" to him..
HAHAHAHAHA
that's it girl!! u'v done something extraordinary and u deserve to be happy with it..!!
2 b truth i just wish that 2 him through his friend..and that good best ever friend never let me down.... even it just a wish, but i make him smile..HE ACTUALLY SMILE..that HOT guy SMILE!! and it worth more that this world could ever imagine.. "kirim salam kat dia ye"..that is the best thing he said to me!! and i accept it with tears..i smile and i cry.. coz i know God know what the best..
people may think im some crazy bitch that obsessed with one simple man..but that's not it..!! i dont know what happen to me..in front of him my words did come out..my language did work out..im easily throw things..and what can i do is just stay quiet make like i never exist and just stand there like the world have stop spinning, like all the living things have vanish and what's left is just he.. walking away from me..
and i still stand there watching him..just watch..!! but still that silence moment give me the happiest feeling like i never feel this b4..even just watching him..even just heard his name..that is not fair..so i'v made up my mind not to fall for him...but just watching him..it may be rude but sometime not everything that u want can be with u..God know, and He already decide everything to us.. what's left is just time..
and i hope that this time i can be tough..!!
='(
written by,
esterxanserveir
assalamualaikum,
well this is my first posting..i used to be a blogger b4 but i've stop..
blog nie aku saja tulis ja pon..bosan..nak luah kat org aku malu..nak telan sorg2 aku segan..hmmm nie laa masalah jd manusia..
most of the story is about me and what i feel about my life..love, passion, knowledge, live, working, learning, and all basic human thing-->that would be the topic i would like to express here..
well today is my someone birthday and i wish to wish him "happy birthday,may God bless u.. this would be the luckiest year for u..have a great life"..semua nie aku nak wish kat dia..but the problem is i just nobody to him..!! would that be "memalukan yang amat" when i suddenly mesej him and split all that..he may think im crazy of him (which is true) or maybe he might think im such "perempuan x sedar diri"...oh god!! if that happen i would be dead by the next morning..
it is not easy to hold that feeling when u know nothing of his/her feeling would be towards us..
but still..who are we to stop this from happening..
god know that i've tried (katy pery wide awake)..
to god..: please if You know that he is not my "lovely perfect match prince charming Mr. nice guy" that would live with me forever after, please take him away from my heart, mind and soul so that i can live quietly without thinking of him..
that would be all for today..harap dapat tulis lagi..
n b4 i forgot---> the 5 words that scared you to hell
"THIS BASED ON TRUE STORY" =P
written by
esterxanserveir
